So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
