Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
