I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
