Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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