I have demons in me.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
