just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
