I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
