Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
