Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
