wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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