Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
