We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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