Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
