"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
