Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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