shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
