Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
