I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
