babies were throwing up all over the place
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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