i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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