brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
