yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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