i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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