What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize