i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
