there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
