He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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