I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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