I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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