how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
