I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
