My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
