Porn is love you can see.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
