belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
