Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
honey bunches of taint.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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