Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
