Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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