very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There r osticjed everywhere
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
