His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I currently don't understand fingers.
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