is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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