I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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