Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
