A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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