i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i drank out of a bidet.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
