I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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