oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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