That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
