she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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