He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
