if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
