hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
