I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
