im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she peed on how many people?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
