I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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