i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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