Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just pee around me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
