I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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