OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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