You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
