I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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