Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
