is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
