so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
