cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
