i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
